Tuesday, April 17, 2012

When You Remember

I'm sitting here with my beautiful little Shine in my lap and catching up on Facebook.  I see one friend in particular that keeps catching my eye.  We have a funny relationship.  They moved into our old rental house and we always kept in touch.  Typically tenants don't get to know each other, but we did for some reason.  I've babysat her youngest daughter before and Sparkle absolutely loved her.  I am going to use her real name because I feel she deserves to be remembered.  Her name in Alayna.  She passed away a little over a week ago.

When Shine was having her open heart surgery, I saw my friend at the hospital and was shocked to see her there.  She told me about Alayna's struggle for the last several months.  She just turned five on March 26th.  She was in the hospital since November because she suffered a stroke.  At four years old.... It was test after test after test for the poor little thing.  She suffered brain damage like all stroke victims do.  My friend was surprising composed about all of this when she was talking to me.  "Alayna will never be the same.  I will never have my Alayna back." She kept saying to me.  My heart was broken for her.  I was being told this when Shine was in her own surgery.  I am incredibly sad to say, that I can't even remember most of the details about what my friend said about her daughter.  My own heart was breaking from my own daughter's situation.

I followed my friend's facebook page, with near stalker levels.  Praying for them and trying to help in some way.

A few weeks ago Alayna's body began shutting down.  Breaking from the inside out.  Her fight was leaving her.  And her mama had to make the most important decision that a mother has to make.  To pull the life support.  I can picture her bending over Alayna's still form and whispering to her that mama loves her and will see her soon.  Her tears falling on her daughter's still cheeks.  Gentling pick her up for the last time and holding her desperately.  When the doctor's turned off the machines, she heard her daughter's heart beat for the last time.  What goes through your heart during a situation like that?  I know all the fear that I felt during Shine's surgery.  And I know what I pictured. I pictured myself having to walk through her bedroom and washing her clothes that were left.  Her tiny shoes and toys all over the floor. Do I pick them up or leave them there to remember her by?  My friend is having to do that right now.  Her funeral was on Friday.  I couldn't attend, but my heart felt every tear her family and friends cried.  I have cried the whole time writing this.

A video is coming soon.

This family is in desperate need of financial help to cover the cost of her funeral.  If you would like to donate, please click this button:

Every single donation will be given to this family, 100%.

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