(From old blog. May 5, 2010)
We had some wonderful news this afternoon! Our baby is healthy and growing like normal! For some of you, this may be something that is totally normal for you during pregnancy. But for me, it's a rarity. This is out tenth pregnancy and some times it feels like hundreds more. I have anxiety and nervousness for the first three months. My babies usually die between 6 weeks and 9 weeks, but clocking in at 10.3 weeks and we have a healthy baby with a strong heartbeat of 176 bpm! So I need to clarify a few things for some of my beloved readers. Even if this child, were not living right now, I would still glorify God for the ability to get pregnant, and the fact that I had the chance to be a mother again. There have been moments in this road of the pregnancy, where I stopped and would tell Him, "just for that moment, right there, thank You." Moments where prayers were answered that in the grand scheme of the universe seem so small, but to a God that loves me, there are no trivial things. But even if He were to be silent, even if He were to not answer any more prayers, even if He doesn't let this child live, I will forever love Him, worship Him and follow Him for the rest of my life. I know His goodness and His love for me.
So for the first time in almost 5 years, I get to sing a song of thanksgiving and worship to my God for bringing us another live child past 8 weeks! I have seen one of our baby's heart beating at 9 weeks and gone back another week and the baby had passed away. So for the chance to be past all the fears and worry, to be in a place where I can wipe away the tears and be comforted by the fact that God is, so far, bringing us another little one, is simply unbelievable. I feel so loved!